Just Dont Know.

Last night was spent at a homeless shelter. After being locked out by my former friends, Lee and Gabe, I've been forced to seek public housing through the City of SF.

And it's not like I've been lazy.

There was even a job interview this week. But this particular Cab Company doesn't hire you unless you have had a license for two years or more.

There are other companies I could work for. Not sure how much more stress I can take tho. Maybe I should move back East. I've family that cares for me and loves me.

Is being here in California still working for me?

I don't know.

I just dont know.

Today was Tough

Today has been a tough day.

After the struggle of the last months, days and weeks; Today I put my dog, Music, in foster care.

This decision was not made lightly and right now my heart is broken. I know it's only temporary and that one day(soon I hope) will find me able to take care of her. Her foster Mom seems very nice and I know Music will have a good time with her. I also know where she is and can go see her anytime I want. I'll be getting myself over to give her plenty of walks during the next few weeks.

I'm still looking for work and I truly hope something breaks because Music was the only thing grounding me and now she's not here to do that. For now looking for a job and finding shelter tomorrow are the tops of my list. For now I'll have to steel my emotions and harden myself to the tasks at hand.

But right now this hurts.

And...

The sadness I'm feeling is so overwhelming that I wonder if I could cry forever...

Buddhist Thought For The Week

The fifth step of the Eightfold Path is Right Livelihood, meaning to abstain from all evil living and all manner of ill-gotten gain or means of livelihood.

Still I Rise-Maya Angelou

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Buddhist Thought For The Week.

Just as the highest and the lowest notes are equally inaudible, so perhaps, is the greatest sense and the greatest nonsense equally unintelligible.

-Alan Watts

Photos

The best

My life has been experiencing a spiritual revival.

Everything has taken on an emotional significance that seems brighter than before.

This planet we live on and this thing called life is one beautiful piece of creation. The design of everything is too perfect to conceive and...

I am overwhelmed.

What was once secret now reveals itself to me and the glow pulses with a force that guides my mind to understanding. Thoughts that once turned negative and dark soar towards the light and love that connects us all.

My Love for everything seems boundless.

I forgive all the hurt brought to me by me. I issue only thankfulness and hope for finding a brighter future as I expect the Universe to extend to me my wish list of desires.

Everyday shall be a new day to achieve success. Everyday I vow to expect, give and receive only the best.

I am glad and thankful to be here.

My home has been found and I am at peace.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE

The Secret has been shown to me. Thank you Universe!! We are all connected & Positive thinking does effect the outcome of the future!

Buddhist Thought For The Week.

By means of meditation we can teach our minds to be calm and balanced; within this calmness is a richness and a potential, an inner knowledge which can render our lives boundlessly satisfying and meaningful. While the mind may be what traps us in unhealthy patterns of stress and imbalance, it is also the mind which can free us. Through meditation, we can tap the healing qualities of mind. - Tarthang Tulku

More Fantasy Photo's

New

Creating a Fantasy 2

LibeRation ThRough GaY Pride 2009

Under the Street

BacK and Around!

LiFe sure Moves moi ManY miLeS!

YaLL darE not sleeP whiLe mAkinG tHiS beAt..

mE and I's neW and unHeaRd feat-

LisTening thiS many miLEs fr0M under THE sTreET!!

damon john burns
june 2009

Buddhist Thought For The Week.2

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows. - Buddha

Buddhist Thought For The Week.1

Shan-tao's definition of the "Right Practices. (shogyo) is as follows: 1) to single-mindedly and wholeheartedly read and recite the Meditation Sutra, the Amida Sutra, and the Sutra of Immeasurable Life; 2) to single-mindedly and wholeheartedly contemplate the splendid view of Amida and the landscape in that Land; 3) to single-mindedly and wholeheartedly prostrate oneself before Amida Buddha; 4) to single-mindedly and wholeheartedly utter the name of Amida Buddha; and 5) when giving praises and offerings is in order, to single-mindedly and wholeheartedly praise and make offerings to Amida.

Behead The Drama Queen 2009

It is a good time I write a few words about recent developments in my life.

Last week I competed taxi school. Thanks Flag A Cab Taxi School!!

This week should find me taking the Driver Test with the City and starting my new job as a San Francisco Taxicab Driver.

I'm excited and hopeful this will be a doorway to further stabilizing my life while giving me a good income.

Not that I've not been stable.

I have been.

However, we (Music and I) are still not living anywhere for too long. Three weeks seem to be our limit at anyone place. Currently I'm back with friends in the Bay View. They're stressless and fun to be around. My friends to the extreme!!

Over all my life has reached a peaceful and less dramatic place and I'm feeling great about the future!

I guess great things are possible when one beheads the Drama Queen from they're lives.

Buddhist Thought For The Week

Live your life in happiness, even though those around you lead lives which are unhealthy, and wish to spread their illness to you. Be Happiness itself. - Buddha

Photos

Troy Boy

The last dude I loved turned into a dud.

I'd pretty much given up on love until I had him in my sights.

Now my heart has turned again and should I try love my friend? Two days now with him on my mind while i wonder which road to drive.

He is such a fucking cutie!! While I love his sweet cherry bootie.

This poem is for Troy Boy. Damn he makes my cock hard boil.

Looking hot!!

In his Audi Royal.

Your Sinister Shape

I've always been alone. I was born by myself and thus shall I end this way.

Tonight the fog hangs thick . Everything appears unique and interesting.
This feels like a legendary moment in time.

The pieces of my life fly about my head. Clearly I can see who and what you are not! Good wouldn't be the name I'd give you!
Friends come and go. So do husbands. Time for you to go forever.
YOUR
This is a spell of words. AND I HOPE YOU FINALLY FEEL IT. It's over for you and poof!!
You do not exist to me!

And love can be murdered by hate.
Who wants to go thru that again? Not me!

Once feet that were sure slip on mean curses and evil intent. Time to-
Shake it off and move towards something more normal.

The hills, curves and lights of San Francisco take on a sinister shape.
Just like your actions. Evil even blushes at you.

I'm divorcing myself from his, yours or any Drama that is..
There isn't a chance for you and please trust that whatever we had ..

Is gone.

Future Friends?

Living in San Francisco or any Big City while having a crisis in ones life can show you which friends are reliable and which are not.

I just want to make sure all those friends that have stood by me during this time in a positive fashion know how proud and honored I am to have them as friends. You guys know who you are and again thanks for being there!! Words can not express the gratitude I have that you are in my life! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!

To those that haven't called or reached out: Thanks for making your feelings clear! I'm not even going to name names. BUT some of you bitches have been friends of mine for years! I mean come on girls!! You can't even call me back!!! So not cute!! I guess we aren't friends anymore!

Someone recently said to me "Just because you were friends with someone for many years doesn't mean you will continue to be friends with them in future years."

And I think I sadly agree with him.

buddhist Thought For The Week

If you do something good, enjoy it, repeat it, and allow it to become a way of life. (Bad Conduct, v118)

ONE LESS CRAZY HOMO I CHOOSE NOT TO DEAL WITH:GLN

So I read something crazy yet very very funny on a social/sex website today.

THE TEXT FROM MY CRAZY SOON TO BE EX's PROFILE!!

His ramblings proves 2 me that ending all contact FOREVER MORE is the ONLY choice fate could have picked for me!!!

He is truly a coo coo for coco puffs FAGGOT!!

So without further delay..
Here are his impossible notions and a peek into a crazy, fucked and lost soul.

*************************
I've met a great guy to co-create a home & family-life!
Each a stronger man at times, we were equally comfy in jeans, a tux or naked having built a life to truly love - We married.

Hasty emotional choices began a chain of events -
I barely comprehend even in Hindsight!
Can we understand both sides, forgive fears & blunders, be willing to learn & grow stronger?

At home & online, I welcome friend's advice so I may become a better friend.

(Yes, I'd love a Miracle!)
The willingness to forgive, make choices & changes to be friends

Live together again...? I do not know.
SF is our home - It's a small town.
****************

WHAT A JOKE!!!

GEOFFREY L NEWMAN:
IT'S OVER U SELF DELUSIONAL LOON!!! NEVER EVER WOULD I EVEN TALK TO U OR LOOK AT U. I WOULD RATHER GO STR8 THAN BE WITH HIS CRAZY ASS!!! PLEASE ...IT'S OVER BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD TO ME GLN. NOW GO BURY YOURSELF AND CLOSE THE COFFIN BECAUSE I HAVE!!! YOU DO NOT EXISTS TO ME!!!!!!! GOOD-BYE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pics from Drug Study and Other Places

Einstein's Buddhist Thinking

Although Albert Einstein was certainly not a Buddhist, these statements sound much like it:

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'universe', a part limited in time and space.
He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest
- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affectation for a few people near us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion
to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

-A. Einstein