BreakUps 2 MakeUps

This weekend was rough and emotional.

JT and I weren't seeing eye 2 eye on some issues that are at both times important and petty. Also we've been spending a ton of time together and there had been a weird power dynamic developing leading us both to misunderstand one another.

We began to quarrel over our differences. Which was then followed by letting our emotions get out of hand.

After a heated debate Saturday morning it looked like we'd be breaking up. He went and stayed with a friend in another part of town. I was on a emotional roller coaster and alone in my apartment for the first time in almost 3 week.

I couldn't stand the sight of my walls or the empty space next to mine in the bed. By yesterday afternoon I walked all over the City, taking pictures and hanging out with people I met along the way.

JT and I didn't talk or see each other for over 48 hours and I missed him every minute.

Well, most parts of him.

During this time apart I had enough time to come down off my high horse and think over what went wrong. I knew I contributed my fair share into the making of our problems. And I think while we were apart JT had time to reflect on the parts he played in the negativity.

By yesterday deep thought and meditation led me to think that all hope wasn't lost so I called him.

This morning we got together and talked about everything that happened. It was rough but thankfully we've arrived at solutions which should hopefully work for us.

I think now all we needed was time away, a readjustment of our "rules", how much time we should spend together at this time and what was expected/offered to one another.

Hopefully a better and healthier relationship will be the result because I love him and want it to work.

Right now I'm feeling good about us...But after all this talking/writing I need a nap.

Later yall!

Happy Indiffence

This post isn't the easiest one for me write but it must be done.

After spending almost three weeks JT, Saturday morning I ended or brief relationship and cohabitation.

The lies, manipulation, double life, wife and child, abusive communication style, selfishness, uncaring attitude towards my emotions and home all became too much to deal with.

Over the last 21 days or so many things were told to me by JT that had no iota truth to them. The more I reached out towards him the further and harder he pulled away from me.

Sex was not used in the right way between us and we were doing more group sex scenes together than having sex together. It seemed more important that only his needs be met because he continued to behave as if he was single.

Many things he did and said made it clear that he wanted all the rights of a relationship with me but not the responsibilities.

After see again the evidence of these facts my temper boiled over and we quarrelled which ended with me demanding he take his things and remove himself from my apartment.

At first it was sad and I wondered if the right choice was being made in telling him to go. Many feelings wed those. Everything from rage, disappointment, sadness, self-doubt too happy he's out of my life and home...

This AM my heart is at ease and happy indifference would be the best way to describe what I'm feeling.

This morning I woke up feeling great and superhero like.

Don't really know if JT and I'll be friends after all this but but I hope JtT has learned a vfew aliblue lessons.